Front Porch Philosophy
Out of literally hundreds of people, there were only two individuals who were somewhat less than amiable. One, I believe, was expecting something resembling a large public garden. The other was a "dedicated collector" (not my words) and ran through as quickly as possible, looking only for what he did not have. I don't believe either ever saw what was there, only what was missing. Neither had time to have a cold drink (in spite of the hot weather) or to talk gardening a bit. Both had driven about an hour just to get here.
While remembering those two individuals, the focus is on the hundreds who were exceptional individuals. All were interesting, thoroughly enjoyable people who radiated a warm energy. In my experience the general population does not behave this exceptionally so consistently. The experience caused me to wonder about gardeners. What is it about these people? Why does such a large percentage stand out from the general population?
There was not much help from references. Four dictionaries were checked, beginning with the words garden and gardeners. Even Sterns' Dictionary of Plant Names for Gardeners doesn't attempt to define a gardener. Best I could find was "one who gardens" or something similar. That sure doesn't say much. As to what, exactly, a gardener is, I do not have a definitive answer. I do feel they share three commonalties.
Communication
First is the need to communicate. This has got to be the most talkative group of individuals I have ever encountered. It goes beyond talking, though, for you can feel the "linking up" in the communication. I belong to other organizations enthusiastic about their chosen subjects but that "connection" is not there to the degree it is with gardeners. Deborah Tannen would have probably pointed out that since more females than males are gardeners, the difference is gender-based communication techniques. There's some element of truth in that, but I am male and find the males involved in gardening share this communication trait.
Sharing
Sharing is the second trait and it seems to be common to gardeners. It is also, I believe, directly connected to the need to communicate. Some share almost to the point of pushiness. "Take this. I have plenty and you must have this in your garden." You can't refuse without offending.
Beyond the plants passed around there is a sharing of self. Experiences, stories, all interwoven through their life histories. Many times the sharing is on a very personal level. Somewhat similar to "if you are a gardener, you are a member of the family" type familiarity.
Community
Both of the above commonalties lead to the third, which is a sense of community. Most gardeners are active in volunteer organizations, many of which are not related to gardening. Almost all do belong to a garden club of some persuasion; specific plant type clubs such as Daylilies or Hostas, or "ladies clubs" where gardening is strongly featured. They seem to seek others of their kind and "do". To give of themselves to the community and be a part of. Gardening may be a one-person activity for the most part, but you seldom find people who garden preferring isolation.
If there is someone with need of a thesis for a paper, or to intellectualize further, this would be a good area to explore. I prefer to bask in the warmth of all those happy smiling gardeners, accepting both their good will and their plants.
Those who visit the garden are now no longer strangers.